They Are Worth It!
It's November--National Adoption Month. Bill and I first talked about adoption years ago, soon after we were married. We wanted as many as six children and, even then, we planned to adopt and provide foster care, as well as raise our biological children. The time frame has been a little different than we expected, but the results have been worth the wait.
It was just eleven years ago this week that Victoria joined our family permanently through adoption. We saw her picture on the internet in June, filled out reams of paperwork, and attended one training after another. We first saw little Victoria, across the room at her daycare center, in August, and we met her for the first time in September, when we joined her foster family for a picnic lunch and a trip to Riverside Zoo. Victoria was almost five years old, very tiny, and very cute. A proposed six month transition period was shortened into six weeks of back and forth travel between our house and her foster home, an hour's drive away. Then, on Bill's birthday, we attended a birthday/adoption party for Victoria at her foster family's home, and brought her home. She cried nearly all the way.
After that first overwhelming evening, Victoria settled into the family pretty easily. She went to preschool with me every day. Erin and Meagan, who were fourteen and seventeen, carted her all over town, to basketball games and the park and church activities. Bill enjoyed shocking curious people when he introduced his youngest daughter, with no explanation of how or when she had arrived in our family.
Victoria flourished. She was easy to love. She grew (a little), learned to talk and read and play the piano. She was bubbly and happy, at least in the daytime. Everybody was her friend. When she was not content to be the only child in our house, we were motivated to become foster parents for a succession of children. Victoria claimed them all as her brothers and sisters.
Levi, our last foster child, was a student in my preschool class who needed a temporary foster home. He was barely four years old when he came to stay for thirty days. His adoption was final nearly two years ago. After a slow start, Levi has grown a lot in the last year. He has learned to like eating real food, as opposed to fast food, with a fork rather than fingers. He certainly didn't need to learn how to talk, but he is finally learning how to speak respectfully. He has learned to read well. He has just begun to take piano lessons. He loves to draw and invent and construct. He can be oh, so charming and lovable.
These days, Bill and I don't have time to be foster parents, because Victoria and Levi require much of our time and energy. We might have had more stamina when we were younger, but I think that God knew we would need the experience and wisdom accumulated over many years, along with a tremendous amount of His grace, to be able to raise these two children. In the beginning, we knew that Victoria and Levi both had some special needs, but we didn't really understand that traumatized children who are adopted as preschoolers come with unpredictable challenges. So, we've dealt with developmental delays, individual education plans, emotional ups and downs, chronic health and mental health issues, unexpected surgeries, and bureaucratic red tape. We spend way too much time in waiting rooms, therapists' and doctors' offices, and pharmacies, but we couldn't survive without them. We rely heavily on the emotional support and prayers of family and friends. I haven't always agreed with Hillary Clinton's assessments of life, but I think that she was totally accurate when she quoted an African proverb, saying that "It takes a village to raise a child."
An empty nest is far in the future for us, and that's just the way we want it. There are still thousands of children and teens, all over the country, in need of loving foster families and forever families. We know that foster care and adoption aren't for everybody. Adopting children with special needs is certainly not for the faint-of-heart, but it is a worthwhile and rewarding endeavor. I hope that some of you will consider it. It's not an easy road, but these kids are worth it!
"With God all things are possible." (Matthew 19: 26)
It was just eleven years ago this week that Victoria joined our family permanently through adoption. We saw her picture on the internet in June, filled out reams of paperwork, and attended one training after another. We first saw little Victoria, across the room at her daycare center, in August, and we met her for the first time in September, when we joined her foster family for a picnic lunch and a trip to Riverside Zoo. Victoria was almost five years old, very tiny, and very cute. A proposed six month transition period was shortened into six weeks of back and forth travel between our house and her foster home, an hour's drive away. Then, on Bill's birthday, we attended a birthday/adoption party for Victoria at her foster family's home, and brought her home. She cried nearly all the way.
After that first overwhelming evening, Victoria settled into the family pretty easily. She went to preschool with me every day. Erin and Meagan, who were fourteen and seventeen, carted her all over town, to basketball games and the park and church activities. Bill enjoyed shocking curious people when he introduced his youngest daughter, with no explanation of how or when she had arrived in our family.
Victoria flourished. She was easy to love. She grew (a little), learned to talk and read and play the piano. She was bubbly and happy, at least in the daytime. Everybody was her friend. When she was not content to be the only child in our house, we were motivated to become foster parents for a succession of children. Victoria claimed them all as her brothers and sisters.
Levi, our last foster child, was a student in my preschool class who needed a temporary foster home. He was barely four years old when he came to stay for thirty days. His adoption was final nearly two years ago. After a slow start, Levi has grown a lot in the last year. He has learned to like eating real food, as opposed to fast food, with a fork rather than fingers. He certainly didn't need to learn how to talk, but he is finally learning how to speak respectfully. He has learned to read well. He has just begun to take piano lessons. He loves to draw and invent and construct. He can be oh, so charming and lovable.
These days, Bill and I don't have time to be foster parents, because Victoria and Levi require much of our time and energy. We might have had more stamina when we were younger, but I think that God knew we would need the experience and wisdom accumulated over many years, along with a tremendous amount of His grace, to be able to raise these two children. In the beginning, we knew that Victoria and Levi both had some special needs, but we didn't really understand that traumatized children who are adopted as preschoolers come with unpredictable challenges. So, we've dealt with developmental delays, individual education plans, emotional ups and downs, chronic health and mental health issues, unexpected surgeries, and bureaucratic red tape. We spend way too much time in waiting rooms, therapists' and doctors' offices, and pharmacies, but we couldn't survive without them. We rely heavily on the emotional support and prayers of family and friends. I haven't always agreed with Hillary Clinton's assessments of life, but I think that she was totally accurate when she quoted an African proverb, saying that "It takes a village to raise a child."
An empty nest is far in the future for us, and that's just the way we want it. There are still thousands of children and teens, all over the country, in need of loving foster families and forever families. We know that foster care and adoption aren't for everybody. Adopting children with special needs is certainly not for the faint-of-heart, but it is a worthwhile and rewarding endeavor. I hope that some of you will consider it. It's not an easy road, but these kids are worth it!
"With God all things are possible." (Matthew 19: 26)
And we are thrilled and thankful to have Victoria and Levi as part of our family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that thought. I know that many families would not be as supportive as ours has been, so I appreciate all of you immensely!
ReplyDelete