A Red, Red Nose
No, that title doesn't include a misspelling for "rose," even though I am anxious to see my red rose bushes burst into bloom as soon as we finally see a few sunny days. And, I have not forgotten which season it is, nor do I intend to write about a certain famous reindeer. I really do plan to write about a red nose or two, but it's probably not what you think.
Like most people, I find that my nose turns rather red when I have a cold, or when my allergies get the best of me. The same is true for most people in my family, including my Uncle Lee. But, I'm not going to write about stuffy noses and the inevitable redness that follows.
A few years ago, I had a rather lengthy conversation with Uncle Lee, about his red nose. I don't recall how we got around to that topic, but I'm quite sure that he started it. We were at the ranch, sitting outside at the picnic table with several other relatives, when Uncle Lee began to lament that his naturally red nose was a liability for his job as a financial consultant. Like his father before him, his nose was becoming increasingly red as he grew older, especially at the end of the day. His job required him to meet with his clients in their homes in the evenings, and he was worried that people would be talking about him behind his back, accusing him of having a drinking problem that caused his nose to turn red!
This was not a senseless concern, since Lee knew that Grandpa's nose would turn bright red if he drank even one beer. However, my Grandpa was not prone to drinking too much, and neither was Lee. And they both had the same nose problem, whether they drank beer or not.
Uncle Lee wanted his clients to trust his financial advice, so he did not want to give them any reason to think he had a drinking problem that might impair his judgment. He had considered using a flesh-colored foundation to camouflage his red nose, but he was of the generation that believed men should never stoop to using women's makeup. Fortunately, someone (maybe Aunt Rose) had suggested a solution that he could live with, as Lee sheepishly confessed that afternoon.
Just as every art student learns that mixing light green and pink pigments will result in a tan color, Lee experimented with rubbing a little green concealer onto his red nose and, like magic, the color of his nose faded into a neutral tan color. It was a solution he could live with because, at least in his mind, green concealer wasn't really makeup. The green non-makeup solved his problem, as long as he remembered to blow his nose gently when necessary, so his Kleenex wouldn't divulge his secret.
I don't know what prompted Uncle Lee to share his dilemma that day, but I remember how hard we all laughed with him as he shared his story.
In recent years, I've noticed that I, too, seem to have inherited the Vawser family nose issue. I'll admit it: I tried out the green coverstick that worked so well for Lee. But, I don't have any qualms about using makeup and I've found that, for me, a plain old, tan foundation works better.
Anyone who truly knows me understands that I don't drink beer, but I really don't want to be mistaken for Rudolph.
Like most people, I find that my nose turns rather red when I have a cold, or when my allergies get the best of me. The same is true for most people in my family, including my Uncle Lee. But, I'm not going to write about stuffy noses and the inevitable redness that follows.
A few years ago, I had a rather lengthy conversation with Uncle Lee, about his red nose. I don't recall how we got around to that topic, but I'm quite sure that he started it. We were at the ranch, sitting outside at the picnic table with several other relatives, when Uncle Lee began to lament that his naturally red nose was a liability for his job as a financial consultant. Like his father before him, his nose was becoming increasingly red as he grew older, especially at the end of the day. His job required him to meet with his clients in their homes in the evenings, and he was worried that people would be talking about him behind his back, accusing him of having a drinking problem that caused his nose to turn red!
This was not a senseless concern, since Lee knew that Grandpa's nose would turn bright red if he drank even one beer. However, my Grandpa was not prone to drinking too much, and neither was Lee. And they both had the same nose problem, whether they drank beer or not.
Uncle Lee wanted his clients to trust his financial advice, so he did not want to give them any reason to think he had a drinking problem that might impair his judgment. He had considered using a flesh-colored foundation to camouflage his red nose, but he was of the generation that believed men should never stoop to using women's makeup. Fortunately, someone (maybe Aunt Rose) had suggested a solution that he could live with, as Lee sheepishly confessed that afternoon.
Just as every art student learns that mixing light green and pink pigments will result in a tan color, Lee experimented with rubbing a little green concealer onto his red nose and, like magic, the color of his nose faded into a neutral tan color. It was a solution he could live with because, at least in his mind, green concealer wasn't really makeup. The green non-makeup solved his problem, as long as he remembered to blow his nose gently when necessary, so his Kleenex wouldn't divulge his secret.
We miss Uncle Lee, and his sense of humor. |
In recent years, I've noticed that I, too, seem to have inherited the Vawser family nose issue. I'll admit it: I tried out the green coverstick that worked so well for Lee. But, I don't have any qualms about using makeup and I've found that, for me, a plain old, tan foundation works better.
Anyone who truly knows me understands that I don't drink beer, but I really don't want to be mistaken for Rudolph.
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