Wedding Shoes

I don’t remember the actual wedding ceremony, or the reception, either, when my Aunt Marj married Norm, but I know the wedding was held at the Methodist church in Norfolk. By the time I was nine years old, I had attended a few weddings and receptions and, by then, I realized that most church weddings and receptions were about the same; they were special occasions, for sure, launching marriages that might last for decades, but the wedding ceremony itself was nothing memorable for a child who had attended more than one, and the wedding cake and punch, while satisfying, weren’t much different than any other cake and punch I'd ever had.

Just a few weeks earlier, my family had moved from the Oxnard Hotel in Norfolk to the Hotel Mary-Etta in Fairbury. The wedding would have marked the first time our family returned to Norfolk for a visit, so that added to our excitement.

I remember arriving at Grandpa and Grandma's house that mild June morning, and finding a houseful of relatives scurrying around, getting ready for the big event. In particular, I remember Aunt Marlene, dyeing her shoes in the bathroom. Back then, it was common for bridesmaids to dye their satin high heels the same color as their dresses. I didn’t recall which pastel color was used until I saw some pictures, but I remember that three or four of us cousins crowded into the bathroom with Marlene and Aunt Rose to observe the process. I'm not sure they appreciated the audience, but they didn't complain.

Since Marlene lived in a different town, she may have had to wait until she got to Norfolk to dye her shoes with the right shade of yellow dye, provided by the bride. Or, perhaps, with a baby and toddler to keep track of, she just didn't have time to dye the shoes until then. Anyway, the dye came in a container that looked like a shoe polish bottle, with a sponge applicator that was used to paint the dye onto the shoes. It didn’t take long, and it apparently didn’t leave any telltale streaks, either. Obviously, the dye dried fast, since Marlene was able to wear the shoes at the wedding, just an hour or two later. 

Aunt Marj wore a knee-length, white, wedding dress with a short veil, and white shoes that didn’t need to be dyed. Marlene was Marj's only attendant; she wore a little veiled headpiece with her sleeveless, yellow, silk dress. The groom and his best man, Uncle Lyle, wore black suits and dress shoes, and the narrow neckties that most men were wearing in 1964. The teenaged candle lighters' matching white dresses were embellished with yellow ribbon, and 13-year-old Marilyn may have been a little excited about wearing grownup white pumps for the first time. Everyone got ready at the house, or at the groom’s house, before we all headed to the church for the afternoon wedding.

But first, we got to decorate the car. Actually, the kids watched the bride’s siblings and in-laws tie several empty beer cans to the back bumper of the happy couple’s car, so the tin cans would clatter on the pavement as the car drove down the street, signaling the start of another couple’s journey through life. That custom, along with the tradition of posting a “Just Married” sign in the back window of the car, seems to have gone by the wayside in recent years. In fact, marriage itself is much rarer than it used to be.

Marj and Norm's wedding party was small. Marj's brother, Lyle, was the best man, and his wife, Marlene, was the matron of honor. Norm's sister, Linda (left), and Marj's sister, Marilyn, were the candle lighters. 

 

It wasn’t so long ago that even 50 years was a remarkable milestone for any married couple, while 60 years was nearly unheard of. On their fateful wedding day, I doubt if Marj and Norm even considered the inevitable ups and downs that are a part of any marriage. Those heartfelt vows, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, in health,” would only increase in meaning as the years rolled by.

These days, brides and grooms are likely to choose comfortable, decorated flip flops or athletic shoes for their weddings, rather than the formal wedding footwear that was worn in the past. But either way, wedding shoes provide a symbol for the journey each married couple undertakes, step by step, year by year, as they navigate their life together. “As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’” Ephesians 5:31

Happy Anniversary, Marj and Norm, 
and blessings for the rest of your journey together.

 

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 
1 Corinthians 13:13