It’s All in the Name

Naming a child can be a daunting task for parents. The name has to sound right, and it has to fit the child. Some new parents choose traditional or old-fashioned names, or even Biblical names, for their children, while others are determined to pick suitable names from the current year’s top 100 names lists. Still others use names that honor family members, or even a popular TV character.

Some parents want unique names for their children, so they make up names or come up with one-of-a-kind spellings, not thinking much about the bullying their children may face, or how often they will need to spell their names for other people or offer some explanation for a name that is so overly-unique that others may think it is downright weird.

These days, parents can find out anything they want to know about any list or any particular name by googling it, but when Bill and I named our biological daughters, we checked out name books from the library, and pored over list after list in hopes of finding just the right name with an appropriate meaning. I don’t know if my mom and dad had easy access to name lists when they were naming their children. Mom frequented the public library in every town we ever lived in, though, so I suspect that she, too, checked out name books, even when she and Dad lived in Georgia.

Mom told me that she and Dad had chosen the name, Steven, for me if I had been a boy, but they didn’t decide between Debra and Janet, for a girl, until they were on their way to the Army hospital where I was born. Five months later, Dad’s oldest brother, my Uncle Lee, and Aunt Rose, named their first baby girl Debra. They had originally planned to give her the middle name, Kay, but they changed Debby’s middle name to Fay because my parents had chosen Kay for my middle name.

Debby’s baby brother, Steven, was born shortly before I turned two, so that name was off the table when my baby brother, Daniel, was born a few months later. Danny’s name would have been Sheryl if he had been a girl.

Uncle Lee and Aunt Rose’s next daughter was named Sharon, which sounded too similar to Sheryl, so my baby sister was named Laura, which was one of my maternal grandma’s two middle names.

No one discussed name preferences with each other, and no one seemed to mind much when their preferred names were “taken.” After all, names are not anyone’s private property, and even the most unique, made up name, is often used again by parents who hear the name and like it enough to give it to their own child.

Forty-some years ago, I had a kindergarten student whose parents had created the beautiful name, Kalandra, just for her. In recent years, I have run across a few others with the same name. Isn’t that how naming works? Throughout the ages, someone has come up with a name, and other people hear it and use it for their own children, while others invent even more unique names. And so it goes.

Certain names are often reused within families. As it turns out, I have two cousins named Steven, but it hasn’t caused many problems since they are 17 years apart in age, and they have different last names. My dad and his oldest grandson were both named Lowell. Additionally, I had a great-grandpa who was named Wesley, as well as a cousin and nephew with the same name. Wesley was my dad’s middle name, as well.

Names are important. I think their meanings are important, too. My name, Janet, means “God is gracious,” or “gift from God.” God has certainly been gracious to me for my whole life, so my parents gave me a name that became more appropriate than they could have planned. Sometimes, I think the meanings of names can work like self-fulfilling prophecies. What do you think?

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

Isaiah 43:1