Fears and Foibles
Fears and foibles--we all have them. Some people are afraid of heights or bugs or storms. Some people have little rituals they always follow, such as always loading the dishwasher the same way or reading the newspaper in a particular order. So, I've been thinking. What am I afraid of? What little quirks or eccentricities do I have? And why am I so hesitant to share this information with anyone?
I'm mildly afraid of heights, especially over water, and I know the reason why: When I was about ten, my family visited a new dam in Kansas. It was a windy, spring day as we stood on top of the dam, gazing across the water far below. Mom's scarf whipped in the wind, caught my glasses, and sent them flying down, down, into the water. Dad suggested that some fish would probably wear them from then on. I was not amused.
I don't really like to touch bugs or snakes, but I'm not especially afraid of them.
Unlike many people I know, I love almost everything about thunderstorms--the sight of awesome, billowing clouds, the sweet smell of those first raindrops, the majestic thunder and lightning, and the sound of the pouring rain. I'm not too fond of hail, but I can't say that it scares me, unless the hailstones are too massive, or if they just keep on falling for more that a few minutes, damaging houses and cars, and everything that grows.
I love to swim in a cool, refreshing pool on a hot day, as long as I swim on my back; I just don't like to put my face in the water. Perhaps it goes back to the time, long ago, when my teenaged swimming teacher threw me into the deep water on the very first day of swimming lessons at the YMCA in Norfolk. Aaaaaa--why do people do such things to fearful, defenseless children??!
And, of course, my family already knows that I'm terrible at swallowing pills. Even Levi can confidently and efficiently swallow a whole mouthful at once, without water, while I struggle to swallow even one small pill at a time. I keep reminding myself that it's all in my head, but my brain hasn't been too accommodating so far.
I don't like to make phone calls. I don't know why. I've been known to procrastinate for days before calling for essential appointments. I don't mind talking on the phone when someone calls me, though. Bill, who carries two cell phones with him at all times, and who spends a good part of every day on the phone, just can't understand. But, sometimes, he takes pity on me, and makes the calls I dread the most.
Way back when I was in high school, I was terrified of my sophomore speech class. I hated being the center of attention, and I hated speaking in front of so many people. But, I guess I outgrew that fear, because now I can speak easily in front of almost any group of people, as long as I have a good reason for doing so. It must be the teacher in me. (But, when I was fresh out of college, I was not a natural teacher--it took lots of on-the-job training for me to become a competent, confident teacher. I may write more about that later.)
I'm sure that I have many other invisible eccentricities; they kind of run in the family. Does anyone else count steps as you walk up and down the stairs?
We don't often talk about our little quirks and bigger fears. Perhaps we should. We might discover that we're not as unique as we think we are. And, when we remember that God is always with us, ready to protect and guide us, big fears diminish, and little quirks become insignificant. God is bigger than all that!
All of which leads me right back to one of my favorite Bible verses: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3: 5)
I'm mildly afraid of heights, especially over water, and I know the reason why: When I was about ten, my family visited a new dam in Kansas. It was a windy, spring day as we stood on top of the dam, gazing across the water far below. Mom's scarf whipped in the wind, caught my glasses, and sent them flying down, down, into the water. Dad suggested that some fish would probably wear them from then on. I was not amused.
I don't really like to touch bugs or snakes, but I'm not especially afraid of them.
Unlike many people I know, I love almost everything about thunderstorms--the sight of awesome, billowing clouds, the sweet smell of those first raindrops, the majestic thunder and lightning, and the sound of the pouring rain. I'm not too fond of hail, but I can't say that it scares me, unless the hailstones are too massive, or if they just keep on falling for more that a few minutes, damaging houses and cars, and everything that grows.
I love to swim in a cool, refreshing pool on a hot day, as long as I swim on my back; I just don't like to put my face in the water. Perhaps it goes back to the time, long ago, when my teenaged swimming teacher threw me into the deep water on the very first day of swimming lessons at the YMCA in Norfolk. Aaaaaa--why do people do such things to fearful, defenseless children??!
And, of course, my family already knows that I'm terrible at swallowing pills. Even Levi can confidently and efficiently swallow a whole mouthful at once, without water, while I struggle to swallow even one small pill at a time. I keep reminding myself that it's all in my head, but my brain hasn't been too accommodating so far.
I don't like to make phone calls. I don't know why. I've been known to procrastinate for days before calling for essential appointments. I don't mind talking on the phone when someone calls me, though. Bill, who carries two cell phones with him at all times, and who spends a good part of every day on the phone, just can't understand. But, sometimes, he takes pity on me, and makes the calls I dread the most.
Way back when I was in high school, I was terrified of my sophomore speech class. I hated being the center of attention, and I hated speaking in front of so many people. But, I guess I outgrew that fear, because now I can speak easily in front of almost any group of people, as long as I have a good reason for doing so. It must be the teacher in me. (But, when I was fresh out of college, I was not a natural teacher--it took lots of on-the-job training for me to become a competent, confident teacher. I may write more about that later.)
I'm sure that I have many other invisible eccentricities; they kind of run in the family. Does anyone else count steps as you walk up and down the stairs?
We don't often talk about our little quirks and bigger fears. Perhaps we should. We might discover that we're not as unique as we think we are. And, when we remember that God is always with us, ready to protect and guide us, big fears diminish, and little quirks become insignificant. God is bigger than all that!
All of which leads me right back to one of my favorite Bible verses: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3: 5)
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