Together You Stand
One of the first weddings I ever remember attending, when I was three or four years old, wasn't a real wedding at all. It was a mock wedding, in celebration of my Great Aunt Ella's and Great Uncle Henry's Golden Wedding Anniversary. I seem to remember a huge tent that was set up in their farmyard, with dozens of friends and family members in attendance. Back then, in the late 1950's, fifty years of marriage was something to celebrate!
Since Aunt Ella and Uncle Henry had no children of their own, several of their nieces and nephews, along with a few in-laws, got together to provide the entertainment. I don't remember who pretended to be the bride and groom, but one of my uncles was the preacher, and I seem to recall that my Aunt Marilyn was the flower girl. And, I know for sure that my mom was the soloist, because Mom intentionally sang a horrible, off-key rendition of "Oh Promise Me," a wedding song that was very popular at the turn of the twentieth century, when Ella and Henry were married.
When I googled the song, Wikipedia suggested that "Oh Promise Me" is frequently sung at weddings even now. Somehow, I don't think so. The only time I've ever heard it was at that mock wedding, and maybe once in a historical movie. It starts like this:
Oh, promise me that someday you and I
Will take our love together to some sky
Where we may be alone and faith renew,
And find the hollows where those flowers grew.
Reginald De Koven and Clement Scott, 1887
The song goes on to sing the praises of the first sweet violets of spring, and of love unspeakable, and of seeing a vision of paradise because of a perfect life spent together.
Wedding songs were a little different back then. Marriage was different, too. In the early 1900's, numerous young women died in childbirth, and flu epidemics alone killed thousands of people. "Till death us do part" had more meaning then because it was quite likely that either the bride or the groom would die before too many years went by.
Now, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. Unfortunately, studies show that the numbers are not significantly different for Christian marriages. I am sure that most brides and grooms still dream of a perfect life together, but it will take a great deal of determination and a huge amount of loyalty for anyone to succeed in marriage these days.
I think it takes even more than determination and loyalty. It will take a significant amount of love, the kind of love found in 1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Love never fails, but people certainly do. Even after almost forty years of marriage, I can't hope to love my husband as perfectly as I want to. Bill and I have both failed countless times. Everyone does. But when we fail to love each other perfectly, we forgive each other and start all over again.
Life is uncertain. Nearly everyone experiences many joys, and too many sorrows. The longer we are married, the more we realize just how much we need God's help. Proverbs 3: 5-6 provides some great words to live by: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your steps. Even when we are trusting in God, life can be very hard at times. God has never promised that marriage will always be easy, but he does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. At every wedding I attend, my prayer is that the bride and groom will seek God together, with all their hearts, and that they will learn to trust Him more and more throughout their married life.
When Bill and I were married, we recited vows something like these: "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Today, marriage vows take many different forms, with some couples choosing to write their own vows. But, the actual words don't matter nearly as much as the intended promise to spend a lifetime encouraging and caring for each other.
I'd like to share a new wedding song, one that reminds us of the promises we make when we marry. This song also expresses my hope that God will give everything a bride and groom need as they enter their new adventure together.
Together You Stand Janet Bauer, July 16, 2014
Together you stand, woman and man,
Pledging your love before family and friends;
For better or worse, for richer, for poorer,
In sickness, in health, to love and to cherish,
From this day forward, until your earthly life ends.
Forever best friends, you come to be wed,
Faithful and true, in good times and bad.
In joy and in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
You promise to honor, respect, and adore,
To have and to hold, to laugh and to cry,
To treasure each other till the day you die.
Chorus: May God give you grace for each new day,
And may your love for each other increase.
May He bless you with abounding joy,
And fill you with His peace.
May our Lord wrap His arms around you.
May His perfect love surround you and astound you,
As long as you both shall live.
Click on the arrow below to hear this song:
Since Aunt Ella and Uncle Henry had no children of their own, several of their nieces and nephews, along with a few in-laws, got together to provide the entertainment. I don't remember who pretended to be the bride and groom, but one of my uncles was the preacher, and I seem to recall that my Aunt Marilyn was the flower girl. And, I know for sure that my mom was the soloist, because Mom intentionally sang a horrible, off-key rendition of "Oh Promise Me," a wedding song that was very popular at the turn of the twentieth century, when Ella and Henry were married.
When I googled the song, Wikipedia suggested that "Oh Promise Me" is frequently sung at weddings even now. Somehow, I don't think so. The only time I've ever heard it was at that mock wedding, and maybe once in a historical movie. It starts like this:
Oh, promise me that someday you and I
Will take our love together to some sky
Where we may be alone and faith renew,
And find the hollows where those flowers grew.
Reginald De Koven and Clement Scott, 1887
The song goes on to sing the praises of the first sweet violets of spring, and of love unspeakable, and of seeing a vision of paradise because of a perfect life spent together.
Wedding songs were a little different back then. Marriage was different, too. In the early 1900's, numerous young women died in childbirth, and flu epidemics alone killed thousands of people. "Till death us do part" had more meaning then because it was quite likely that either the bride or the groom would die before too many years went by.
Now, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. Unfortunately, studies show that the numbers are not significantly different for Christian marriages. I am sure that most brides and grooms still dream of a perfect life together, but it will take a great deal of determination and a huge amount of loyalty for anyone to succeed in marriage these days.
I think it takes even more than determination and loyalty. It will take a significant amount of love, the kind of love found in 1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Love never fails, but people certainly do. Even after almost forty years of marriage, I can't hope to love my husband as perfectly as I want to. Bill and I have both failed countless times. Everyone does. But when we fail to love each other perfectly, we forgive each other and start all over again.
Life is uncertain. Nearly everyone experiences many joys, and too many sorrows. The longer we are married, the more we realize just how much we need God's help. Proverbs 3: 5-6 provides some great words to live by: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your steps. Even when we are trusting in God, life can be very hard at times. God has never promised that marriage will always be easy, but he does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. At every wedding I attend, my prayer is that the bride and groom will seek God together, with all their hearts, and that they will learn to trust Him more and more throughout their married life.
When Bill and I were married, we recited vows something like these: "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Today, marriage vows take many different forms, with some couples choosing to write their own vows. But, the actual words don't matter nearly as much as the intended promise to spend a lifetime encouraging and caring for each other.
I'd like to share a new wedding song, one that reminds us of the promises we make when we marry. This song also expresses my hope that God will give everything a bride and groom need as they enter their new adventure together.
Together You Stand Janet Bauer, July 16, 2014
Together you stand, woman and man,
Pledging your love before family and friends;
For better or worse, for richer, for poorer,
In sickness, in health, to love and to cherish,
From this day forward, until your earthly life ends.
Forever best friends, you come to be wed,
Faithful and true, in good times and bad.
In joy and in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
You promise to honor, respect, and adore,
To have and to hold, to laugh and to cry,
To treasure each other till the day you die.
Chorus: May God give you grace for each new day,
And may your love for each other increase.
May He bless you with abounding joy,
And fill you with His peace.
May our Lord wrap His arms around you.
May His perfect love surround you and astound you,
As long as you both shall live.
Click on the arrow below to hear this song:
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