Monster Claus

I don't have a cute picture of my grandchildren sitting on Santa's lap. I don't know if I ever will. It seems that they are both terrified of Santa Claus.

Tobin, who is almost four, doesn't want to get close to Santa at all. He clings to whichever parent or teacher is available, or hides behind a trusted adult when Santa tries to talk to him. He won't approach Santa even to get a candy cane, although he is happy to accept Santa's candy from a willing go-between.

Evelyn, who just turned two, keeps her distance from Santa, pointing at him across the room while loudly accusing him of being a monster. Even toy Santas and book illustrations of that jolly old elf are called "monster" by our sweet little Evie.

Meagan, their mom, blames Andy's vintage Santa doll for her children's aversion to Santa. That doll, which first belonged to some older relative, is not exactly cute and cuddly. Andy loves it, probably for sentimental reasons, but his children don't like it at all.

I know that Tobin and Evelyn are not the first children to be distrustful of Santa. I've witnessed many children who hang back when Santa enters the room; there is at least one in every preschool class. And I'll bet that most of us have seen and heard those children at the mall who scream in terror as their parents or doting grandparents place them on Santa's lap for a quick picture.

Think about it: we warn our children repeatedly not to talk to strangers, and then we plop them down unceremoniously on a stranger's lap, and encourage them to smile for a picture. And, Santa is not just any stranger. No, he is a rather large man sporting a full white beard and an impressive red suit, often surrounded by other equally scary people dressed as elves and Mrs. Claus.

On top of all that, Santa immediately starts asking alarming questions, like "Have you been good this year?" and "What do you want for Christmas?" How can an already-intimidated young child possibly get the words together to answer those questions? Most children I know are well-aware that their goodness is far from perfect, so why would they want to admit to Santa, of all people, that they are not always good? And why would they want to recite a laundry list of desired presents to someone who is known for bringing presents to good little boys and girls?

We have several pictures of our daughter, Victoria, with Santa. As a young child with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Victoria had no fear of Santa, so her pictures all show an excited, grinning little girl, perched securely on Santa's lap.

Levi, always the practical one, never believed in Santa, so he saw no reason to waste time sitting on his lap, unless he was sure that it was the only way to procure a candy cane. Even so, at the tender age of four, he was most likely to tell Santa very bluntly, "You're not real!"

Our older daughters, Erin and Meagan, were not really afraid of Santa, and were always willing to sit on his lap in exchange for a candy cane. Erin, who was never a shy one, talked to him at length, but Meagan quickly mumbled a couple of wishes before hopping off Santa's lap and moving to safety, next to Mom or Dad. Her children's reticence with Santa is really only a step or two beyond her own natural caution with the man in the red suit.

I really don't care too much that Evelyn and Tobin want to keep their distance from Santa. Bill and I never made a big deal about Santa with any of our children. Just like Meagan and Andy do, we approach the stories of Santa as just that, stories that are fun to hear, but that have little to do with the true meaning of Christmas. We make sure that our kids know about the real St. Nicholas, who gave gifts to poor children way back in the third century. And we read lots of stories and sing plenty of carols about the first Christmas, when Jesus was born to be our Savior. After all, Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birthday; that's what we want our kids, and our grandchildren, to know.

Just today, Meagan told me that Evelyn has started asking to sit on the "monster's lap." By next Christmas, I think Evie will be brave enough to do it. Hopefully, by then, she will no longer be calling him "monster."

I think I need to find Evelyn and Tobin a new book about the real St. Nicholas. It's never too early to start our preparations for next Christmas.