Translucent
All around me, it seems like people are talking about the importance of being "transparent." By this, they mean that we need to stop sharing only the good things in our lives, so we can present a more balanced picture of the struggles we all face from time to time.
I understand that honesty is a fundamental value; I truly believe that honesty is still the best policy. I also understand the need to share our experiences, even the negative ones, with people who are going through the same kinds of struggles. It can be greatly comforting to hear how someone else has overcome similar challenges. It is encouraging to share common experiences with people who face the same kinds of daily battles that we do. That's why support groups flourish.
When the sun is shining brightly, it's wonderful to let the light in--except when it shines in our eyes. All windows, especially the clearest and cleanest ones, benefit from blinds. Let's face it, though: none of us are sparkling clean all of the time. We really don't want other people to see all of the garbage in our lives. It's natural to want to hide our imperfections.
On the other hand, if we fail to admit our own faults, mistakes, and daily struggles, others may think we are self-righteous, perfect, or even fake. It is very hard to build strong relationships with the people around us if we present ourselves falsely, leaving out the bad stuff. That is one of the disadvantages of social media--people tend to present themselves in the best possible light, so others will see perfect people with perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect families, perfect lives.
Unfortunately, no one is perfect. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24
I really do understand the need for transparency, especially with God. He already knows everything there is to know about me anyway, so it is pointless for me to try to hide anything from him.
A certain level of transparency is desirable in our relationships with other people, too, but I think it is possible to overshare. No one wants to hear us going on and on about our health concerns or parenting struggles or finances, and I truly believe that, contrary to current popular belief, what happens in the bedroom should stay there. In this new era of telling all there is to tell, some things should be kept private. We don’t (and shouldn't) share our own or others’ deepest secrets. There is a fine line between transparency and gossip. There is an even finer line between transparency and self-absorbed narcissism.
So, I have decided that I will not be totally transparent. It isn't possible, anyway, because some things in my life must remain private, and some stories are not mine to tell.
Instead, I will try to be translucent, with some occasional transparency thrown in. Think of translucence like a pane of frosted glass, letting plenty of light through, without revealing everything.
It's hard to believe that I've been writing this blog for more than eight years. In that time, I've learned to share more of my life than I ever thought possible. Until fairly recently, I thought of myself as a very private person, but I've found that new relationships blossom, and long-standing relationships thrive, when my writing gets a little personal.
A little more transparency is apparently a good thing.
I understand that honesty is a fundamental value; I truly believe that honesty is still the best policy. I also understand the need to share our experiences, even the negative ones, with people who are going through the same kinds of struggles. It can be greatly comforting to hear how someone else has overcome similar challenges. It is encouraging to share common experiences with people who face the same kinds of daily battles that we do. That's why support groups flourish.
When the sun is shining brightly, it's wonderful to let the light in--except when it shines in our eyes. All windows, especially the clearest and cleanest ones, benefit from blinds. Let's face it, though: none of us are sparkling clean all of the time. We really don't want other people to see all of the garbage in our lives. It's natural to want to hide our imperfections.
On the other hand, if we fail to admit our own faults, mistakes, and daily struggles, others may think we are self-righteous, perfect, or even fake. It is very hard to build strong relationships with the people around us if we present ourselves falsely, leaving out the bad stuff. That is one of the disadvantages of social media--people tend to present themselves in the best possible light, so others will see perfect people with perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect families, perfect lives.
Unfortunately, no one is perfect. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24
I really do understand the need for transparency, especially with God. He already knows everything there is to know about me anyway, so it is pointless for me to try to hide anything from him.
A certain level of transparency is desirable in our relationships with other people, too, but I think it is possible to overshare. No one wants to hear us going on and on about our health concerns or parenting struggles or finances, and I truly believe that, contrary to current popular belief, what happens in the bedroom should stay there. In this new era of telling all there is to tell, some things should be kept private. We don’t (and shouldn't) share our own or others’ deepest secrets. There is a fine line between transparency and gossip. There is an even finer line between transparency and self-absorbed narcissism.
So, I have decided that I will not be totally transparent. It isn't possible, anyway, because some things in my life must remain private, and some stories are not mine to tell.
Instead, I will try to be translucent, with some occasional transparency thrown in. Think of translucence like a pane of frosted glass, letting plenty of light through, without revealing everything.
A little more transparency is apparently a good thing.
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