My Meningioma

I don't often bring up my meningioma. It wasn't long after my initial diagnosis that I learned how the mere mention of it freaks people out, causing excessive worry and unnecessary concern. After all, my meningioma is a brain tumor the size of a marble--a slow-growing, benign tumor, but a brain tumor, just the same. After more than 30 years, I rarely even think about it because it has become a non-issue.

Erin and Meagan were still in grade school when I began having frequent neurological symptoms that made my doctors think I might have Multiple Sclerosis. My primary care physician referred me to a neurologist, who subjected me to a series of tests, followed by my first MRI. The MRI showed no signs of MS, but it did reveal a meningioma sitting on (in?) my brain stem. According to my doctor, the tumor was causing no symptoms; its discovery was incidental due to the MRI. And, the doctor also told me that, if it were located anywhere else, I could simply have surgery to "pop it out." 

Apparently, the brain stem is a poor location for successful tumor removal, and the surgery could produce a plethora of unwanted side effects, since the brain stem is the control center for the autonomic nervous system, regulating vital operations such as breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure, as well as many involuntary actions like balance, swallowing, and sleep. Needless to say, it's better not to disturb the brain stem at all, so I just have to live with my meningioma until it produces significant symptoms that make the surgery worth the risk.

Over the years, several celebrities have been in the news when they have had surgery to remove meningiomas. The news media always makes a big deal about it, of course, but I have to smile because I know that most benign meningiomas are located on the top of the brain where, as my neurologist indicated, they can be "popped out" quite easily, with no lasting effects. For those celebrities, their brain tumor surgeries offer convenient publicity for scary but otherwise minor, mostly non-invasive procedures. 

I've been thinking about my meningioma again because I have a friend who is suffering from similar tumors on her spine, causing serious symptoms and pain. Even benign tumors like mine can cause tremendous problems for some people, depending on their size and location, and the surgery that is necessary to remove them can sometimes be extremely risky. I've been praying that God will give my friend the healing and peace she needs now, along with timely, successful surgery to remove her tumors without damaging her spinal cord in any way. I know she would appreciate your prayers, too.

I have had most of the symptoms that may or may not be caused by a meningioma, but I've learned to live with them and ignore them, for the most part. When they noticeably interfere with my life, to the point where they can't be subdued with medication or other treatments, I'll need to schedule another MRI and a visit to a neurosurgeon. Most of the time, I can still touch my finger to my nose with my eyes closed, so it isn't time yet. (Click here to read my thoughts about having an MRI.)

It seems like a lifetime ago, when we were all so young, and I was just about to find out that I had a brain tumor.

Life can be filled with uncertainty. Only God knows how long we will live on this earth. I learned, very soon after my diagnosis, that God is even in control of things that can cause great fear for most people. In my case, God has given me complete peace about my tumor, to the point that I have never worried about it. He has made it possible for me to trust in him completely for my health and life. I realize what a tremendous gift this has been. 

Now, 30-some years later, I can still say that God has remained faithful. I think these Bible verses began to mean so much to me then, soon after I found out about my meningioma:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
 Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6