Undeserved
I bought Levi some ice cream today, not because he earned it, or because he did anything at all to deserve it, but simply because I know how much he loves ice cream. I did it even though he made some poor choices at school today. It might not seem like a big deal to some of you; we often buy ice cream for our kids. But, Levi is allergic to dairy products, so I had to drive clear across town to the health food store and pay a big price just to purchase a small amount of non-dairy ice cream.
Parents do things like this for our children all the time. We don't stop loving them when they mess up. We don't withhold every good thing just because our kids have a bad day. Sure, we give reasonable consequences for poor behavior because it is our job to provide guidance and discipline for the children God has entrusted to our care. But we don't stop loving them when they do bad things.
I am always a little disconcerted when I discuss this issue with my preschoolers, when some of them insist that their parents don't love them when they behave badly. We talk often about how their parents always love them, even when they don't like the things they do.
It's not always easy for children, and adults, too, for that matter, to understand the difference between loving someone and loving their behavior. And it is definitely not easy for parents to remember to tell their children that they are loved, no matter what they do, even as parents mete out appropriate discipline for their offspring's wrongdoing.
Similarly, children don't always understand the concept of apology for wrongdoing. Some kids think that the word "sorry" makes everything alright. We try to help them understand that a mere word can't undo the hurt they've caused, even though an apology is often necessary anyway. On the other hand, we teach the victims that it's much better to respond with words like "I forgive you" rather than "It's okay," because it's really not okay when someone hurts them.
Buying ice cream for Levi--that was a gift he didn't deserve today. It was a very minor act of grace, in the whole scheme of things, hardly worth comparing to the grace that God offers to each of us every day. As parents, we are given frequent opportunities to model God's grace for our children. We want our children to know just how much we love them, even when they do bad things; then, perhaps they will be able to understand how much more God loves them, and how ready he is to forgive even the worst things they do--even though they don't deserve it.
For the wages of sin is death; but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
Parents do things like this for our children all the time. We don't stop loving them when they mess up. We don't withhold every good thing just because our kids have a bad day. Sure, we give reasonable consequences for poor behavior because it is our job to provide guidance and discipline for the children God has entrusted to our care. But we don't stop loving them when they do bad things.
I am always a little disconcerted when I discuss this issue with my preschoolers, when some of them insist that their parents don't love them when they behave badly. We talk often about how their parents always love them, even when they don't like the things they do.
It's not always easy for children, and adults, too, for that matter, to understand the difference between loving someone and loving their behavior. And it is definitely not easy for parents to remember to tell their children that they are loved, no matter what they do, even as parents mete out appropriate discipline for their offspring's wrongdoing.
Similarly, children don't always understand the concept of apology for wrongdoing. Some kids think that the word "sorry" makes everything alright. We try to help them understand that a mere word can't undo the hurt they've caused, even though an apology is often necessary anyway. On the other hand, we teach the victims that it's much better to respond with words like "I forgive you" rather than "It's okay," because it's really not okay when someone hurts them.
Buying ice cream for Levi--that was a gift he didn't deserve today. It was a very minor act of grace, in the whole scheme of things, hardly worth comparing to the grace that God offers to each of us every day. As parents, we are given frequent opportunities to model God's grace for our children. We want our children to know just how much we love them, even when they do bad things; then, perhaps they will be able to understand how much more God loves them, and how ready he is to forgive even the worst things they do--even though they don't deserve it.
For the wages of sin is death; but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23
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